How many other things can you do while driving on the phone?

I think there should be a device installed on everyone’s vehicle called “The Silencer”. No, not like the ever popular gun attachment. I’m talking about a device that would prevent you from making or receiving calls while your car is running. I don’t care if the speed limit is 20 or 70, nobody can drive while talking on the cell phone (except me of course). There are so many intellectually impaired meatsacks driving on the highways going 20 under the speed limit, and that’s just the speed limit nobody obeys anyway. Not only is it just as dangerous as going too fast, but you’ve become an oblivious  promoter of road rage. How often does road rage end happily? Not too often. So please, if anyone can invent this, I’ll be more than happy to only take a 60% share of the profits.

Now, I can see some questions you may raise about this device. Well, because I’m so smart, I’ve compiled an FAQ list for The Silencer below. …Check Out The Rest »

Josh Hamilton: America's Hero

Don’t get me wrong; I’m a sucker for happy stories in sports. However, I prefer the ones that have to do with the little boy getting to meet his favorite athlete. Or perhaps the quest to overcome a special acheivement or record. But none have gotten me so upset as the whole Josh Hamilton story. When did it become cool to be a recovered heroin addict? This guy has all of a sudden become a role model for children. …Check Out The Rest »

I’m driving downtown the other day during rush hour, and I get behind some jackass that is completely oblivious to highway etiquette. I mean, when you’re in bumper to bumper traffic, you want to hold your ground as much as you can. No sense in setting yourself back farther than you need to, you know?

So this guy is fiddling on his cell phone, swaying in the lane, singing like a overly excited schoolgirl and, the worst part, decides to play bouncer to the left lane. He’s letting everyone in. EVERYONE! It’s like he’s parked his car on the highway, climbed on the roof of his car and has both hands flippin’ the birds with with a giant grin on his face. The guy was an asshole.

This experience, along with countless others, leaves me to conclude that I am the only person in the world that knows how to drive. There’s just no debate about it.

I want to thank you for checking out ThatReallyChapsMyAss.com. If you found this site, you either know me or happen to be upset about something and want to tell someone about it. For now, this website is limited to a select few authors. But please feel free to send us your chaps. I plan to upgrade the website as we go along. For now, it’s going to be relatively small to get the ball rolling.

Once again, thanks for checking it out and I look forward to hearing your chaps.

Thanks,
Matt