Seriously Chicago, this may be an exageration, but can we please get back to summer in the near future? I’m really not a fan of pulling out sweaters in the month of June.

I’m a simple man. I like simple things. I don’t need to be wow’d by over the top visuals to make me enjoy it. I know what I like in my social activities. I don’t like to ask for much but when you are going to take me someplace to drink, please be sure that some of these items can be checked. These are my bar necessities. (more…)

Today, as I am going to lunch I encountered a rare phenomenon. No, I am not talking about a falling star, a quadruple axle by Oksana Baiul or even the site of Oprah’s eleventh toe. I am referring to a certain pair of adult Hanes white, possibly light gray sweatpants. This was a peculiar site to see for a couple of reasons: a) being the fact these were dropped in the middle of a stair case landing in the middle of the day, b) the fact that I remembered an unpleasant smell upon walking up the stairs, and c) the fact that someone went totally Tony Montana on these sweatpants with their mud cannon. What I am trying to say is that someone, in Chicago is walking around pant less, after shatting themselves silly in a public stairwell. Not under any circumstance is this acceptable to do in a stairwell, nor anywhere but the privacy of your own bathtub. I mean, how could anyone allow himself or perhaps herself to have their poop pipe be put in such a situation where they soil their pants with poo poo. I know there are some incurable diseases out there, but I have never heard of one where someone has to poo poo himself so bad that they obliterate their Hanes rotten.